Essence

As I drove up the winding, washboard of a road this morning, pieces of me dropped away like yesterday’s clothing. My therapist self~~whish! Married woman, friend~~gone! Busy, competent someone~~no more. Writer~~only in snippets to be woven into coherence later.

I’ve come for a solo stay in the national forest to touch more fully the current that runs beneath and through the particulars of my life. My campsite is lovely, secluded among trees running along a shallow creek. Water dancing over river rock is the only sound I hear.

Stillness returns. Or rather, this space welcomes me back into a stillness that exists always. I settle in, just another rock in the streambed. Here, I know myself as a temporary collection of borrowed components, held together by the thinnest of gossamer threads.

            

Religions distinguish themselves by belief and practice. As I move through my own spiritual life, though, what folks believe and specific rites are not so important to me. What interests me is if someone can stand in awe, and if that person can risk dissolving into the vast flow, even for a brief moment. If so, we are kindred spirits, no matter our beliefs.

            

Night comes and goes. Just after sunrise, I hike to the ridge line and sit at 11,000 feet. The land falls away before me only to rise again, undulating to a 14,000 foot crescendo. If someone feels a quickening at such a sight, if a person can appreciate what this immensity means for one small human’s plans, if one can live from that felt awareness, then I care little what story is told to explain it.           

            

Individual lives are like houses. Some are spacious with a nice floor plan, some cramped and in bad neighborhoods. All, however, are containers for a soul. The essence that we are, and are yet to become, can make use of any dwelling. But with access to that which moves beyond, a soul blossoms.

            

These houses of ours come with many doors and windows, portals to vastness. Whether wide~opened or shuttered, these openings urge us not to confuse the structure of our lives with life itself. And they offer a pathway into that which endures. 

When we move into that endless field and breathe deeply what is found there, we are nourished. From that vantage point, the houses of our lives seem a bit like movie sets. We may like the movie or not, but the particular plot line is a bit less compelling.

            

I’ve returned now to a life that waited patiently during my excursion into nature. My pieces came together again as easily as they were shed. Refreshed, enlivened, with eyes clear and heart open, I resume my activities, touching within them what truly matters.

Namaste!

Loanne Marie