Gifts Of The Season

The Winter Solstice occurred Saturday, December 21st at 9:19 pm MT. During this dark time of the year, long summer days are but a memory. It’s understandable to miss their lush bounty now, as winds howl and we must dress in multiple layers simply to hold on to our body’s warmth. Yet there is something about winter that calls to us, too. In this week of gift~giving, let’s unwrap the present offered by our frosty friend, this season of shadow.

            

It is full dark now when I rise. The birdsong of other seasons has flown south, and trees show their bare bones, having let go of all effort to assert themselves in showy foliage. This outer reality finds an inner corollary. My own inclination toward busyness has flown as well. My sap has withdrawn deep into my roots, and I know this is not the time for fancy endeavors.

            

On wintry evenings which seem to stretch forever, I am content to pass the time in quiet pursuits, reading silently or aloud, talking of this or of that, writing in journal or letter form. The sacred well from which everything rises seems more accessible these days, a mere breath away. It always is, of course. It just feels closer as I marinate in an outer quiet, with less competing for my fickle attention.

            

Did you ever have a teacher who didn’t holler at her rowdy students to settle down, but instead simply stood at the front of the class without saying a word until her quietness spread ‘round the room, like ink in water? Winter is a bit like that. The hush of the outer world leads the way. If we open to its inky darkness, we find rest. A chance to turn inward. To dream. To find what often remains hidden during periods of bustle. This is the gift of the season. 

In Ode to Silence, Sara Teasdale writes of the heart’s “undreamed of depths” and “the hush that makes us free to hear…high above earth’s stress, the silent music of infinity.” While we cannot, of course, fully grasp infinity, we can touch the edge of it and hear its silent music. A perfect activity for these dark days of inaction. 

            

As I write these words, snow falls silently from a murky sky. We are wrapped in winter’s cocoon. And in just a few days, we will celebrate the birth of the Christ child. What better time to open to infinity.

Happy Solstice and Merry Christmas. May the stillness of the season pour its blessings upon you. And may you feel yourself wrapped snugly in a cocoon of comfort and love, held within the arms of infinity.

Love!

Leia

Here’s a 20 minute guided meditation in honor of the Solstice~~

https://zoom.us/recording/share/0tgFuQ4fn2Lqgy14xBsfEGDUKLZyZJ8BQ9uljEWE4EmwIumekTziMw

You are welcome to share the link with anyone you'd like. I'll be leaving it on Zoom for about a week or so.

Winter Solstice Meditation

We have entered the dark time of the year, with the Winter Solstice occurring on Saturday, December 21^st. This season encourages us to be still, to turn inward, and to listen for guidance. Here's a 20~minute guided meditation in honor of that process~~

https://zoom.us/recording/share/0tgFuQ4fn2Lqgy14xBsfEGDUKLZyZJ8BQ9uljEWE4EmwIumekTziMw

After the recording begins, in the upper right~hand corner of the images screen, you'll see a full screen button. And if after listening, you think this meditation is something you'd like to save, there's a download button on the far upper right of the main screen (it disappears when you go into full screen mode).

You are welcome to share the above link with anyone you'd like. I'll be leaving it on Zoom for about a week or so.

Enjoy! Happy Solstice and Merry Christmas!

Leia

Thanksgiving, A Time To Receive

It’s come around again, that luscious holiday whose sole purpose is to nurture gratitude. What a beautiful tradition, an entire day devoted to Thanksgiving. Of course, we only need such a holiday because gratitude does not come easily in our culture. And while a case can be made that this is due to a certain selfishness that is woven through our lives, that doesn’t tell the whole tale.

There is, you see, an interesting thing about gratitude: our ability to be authentically thankful depends on our capacity to fully and deeply receive. If we don’t let the gifts in, expressing thanks won’t come naturally. At best, it will be a mere formality, something we know we ought to do. Our hearts won’t be in it, because our hearts were never touched in the first place. On the other hand, when we fully experience the gifts given us, gratitude arises spontaneously, as naturally as exhalation follows inhalation. 

Let’s test this idea. First, bring to mind a gift your life has brought you. It can be large or small, a thing you can see or touch, or something no less precious for being less tangible. It could be anything…the sound of children playing downstairs, a cherished item, the steady love of a dear friend or family member, the clear sky outside your window.    

With that gift in mind, begin pairing your awareness of it with your respiration cycle. With complete presence, fully receive that gift on the inhale, letting yourself know its value, its beauty, the joy it brings or makes possible. As you release the breath, simply pay attention to what arises. Notice if gratitude does, in fact, appear. But don’t stop there. 

Breathe in again as you open even more deeply to the delight that gift offers. And on your exhalation, notice if the quality of gratitude changes. Continue this process for several rounds of breath, receiving fully on the in~breath, and recognizing the shifting quality of gratitude on the exhale.

Our culture may, indeed, promote a certain selfishness. Yet couldn’t this be because its hectic pace encourages us to stay on the surface of life? When we live superficially, we don’t fully experience what comes our way. We are then never truly nourished, which leads to frantic attempts to fill the void. 

But in dropping down into deep receptivity, the hole begins to fill and what had appeared as self~centeredness is replaced by something else. Gratitude. A spontaneous feeling of appreciation. A thanksgiving. And then something truly magical occurs. When we allow ourselves to fully receive, an urge to give back rises on its own. Receiving makes us naturally more giving, a fact that is no less true for being somewhat paradoxical.

So, yes, let’s enact gratitude this Thanksgiving day, but let’s allow it to rise from an experience of fully receiving. Then that generosity of spirit, the one the holiday is designed to celebrate, will rise up all on its own. Ahhhh...

            

With gratitude overflowing for so many things...including each one of you. Really!

Leia  

Trees Of Autumn

My meditation cushion sits before a tall rectangle of a window that stretches from floor to sloped ceiling in my upstairs office. Here I sit through all kinds of outer and inner weather, usually in silence, occasionally in song.

In this morning’s meditation, my eyes open of their own accord to an autumn scene. A wind has come up, and I watch as a backyard elm offers its leaves, sunlight shining golden through them, to the breeze. I watch for a few moments as leaves swirl to the ground, and then close my eyes once more. The tree stays with me, though, offering itself as teacher. 

Thoughts arrive, but they are leaves to me now, and I give them to the larger current. Until I find myself roughing out a mental draft of this blogpost, with autumn tree as metaphor. I stop, allowing that collection of words to drift to the ground, as I open again to that vivifying force that fuels both my life and the elm’s. I settle back into stillness. 

And then I wonder what I’ll make for dinner. After some brief menu planning, that topic too drifts away. Anxiety for the condition of our world comes next. After getting snagged by this one for a few long moments, I remember the tree and let go again. Then a client appears, one whose pain is sharp and biting. After offering this woman to unseen, benevolent others for holding and blessing, I release again. And so it goes, one thought or image or feeling after another. 

One common misconception about meditation is that it is a time when one’s mind is devoid of thoughts. In reality, minds are seldom empty for long. In meditation, we simply practice letting our thoughts drop away, like leaves in autumn. In this way, we hope to learn to let go of things, both small and large, as life requires, and to do so with grace. 

Gradually we come to trust that, beneath it all, a stillness abides. Like the tree who knows itself anchored in the sweet, life~giving Earth, again and again we learn that we too are anchored in that which endures, in that which sustains.

Is it really so easy for trees to let go of what has already served its function, or do they hold on tenaciously until they can hold on no longer? Perhaps all living things stand at the divide between clinging to and letting go. But that is a thought to savor for a while and then let drift away, too. For no matter the inner experience of elm or aspen, oak or maple, through these trees, autumn offers lessons of release.

May we, like our tree kin, generate with our whole being the foliage that is our life. And then when the time is right, may we release those leaves, returning them to that larger current that holds us all. 

Blessings on all your leaves...as they unfurl and as they drift to the ground.

Leia

Heartbreak As Spiritual Practice

Thirty years ago or more, and I remember still...A two~lane road in New England, wide open fields stretching away on both sides. A car in front of us hits a small bird in flight, knocking it to the tarmac. My husband brakes, comes to a stop. We get out. He kneels, carefully scoops into his gentle hands the brilliantly~colored, broken and shuddering goldfinch. Walking several steps into the field, he places the tiny being on the grass where it will soon take its last breath. We step back.

And all the while, the keening of this bird’s mate as she circles erratically, frenetically, a few feet above our heads. Our hearts break at the heartbreak we hear and see and feel.

Suffering is ever~present in the world we inhabit, though often we attempt to avoid it. No surprise there. Brains wired for survival do this. Yet from a spiritual perspective, our avoidance comes at a cost. It’s not that we can’t experience joy without opening to loss. We can, though likely not as deeply. To avoid a condition that is part of life on the planet, though, we must close down. We then feel less, become less. We hardened~~a bit or significantly~~toward ourselves, others and life itself. 

Efforts to avoid pain are also simply not sustainable. Pierced again we shall be. Sooner or later, a loved one will be snatched from flight and hurled to the ground. Or some other misfortune, small or large, will strike. Or another’s pain will burst into our awareness. Pain is a given. Better to embrace it and work skillfully with it. 

Perhaps a way to begin is by opening to heartbreak in all its varieties. Open hearts are pierced many times a day, and not just by suffering. Beauty also pierces. On my walk this morning, my heart broke at the white of a nighthawk’s wing bars flashing in the pre~dawn dark, and by the rosy blush of clouds stacked heavily in the eastern sky, reflecting fuchsia in the waters of the lake below.

Hearts are made to break, deeply and often. In fact, it is the heart’s function to ache and to break. For it is by breaking again and again that hearts become larger, deeper vessels for Love. While it does take skill to allow that breaking to open rather than weaken us, we really have no choice. Our hearts WILL break. It is what they do. 

The only viable approach is to open to the exquisite anguish and beauty of our world and learn to dance with heartbreak. Let everything break your heart. Let hate and loss and cruelty break your heart. And let each act of kindness and every expression of beauty and love break your heart as well.

Heartbreak and heartache, dear friends on the path to a full, rich and open~hearted experience of life. 

💓  💘  💔  💖 

Leia 

Okay, so here's a wee bit of symbolism of the synchronistic variety. Notice those heart emojis above. The beating heart begins small, becomes slightly larger when it is pierced, larger still when it cracks open, remaining the same size as it dances with stars. These wee emojis may be telling a true tale. Perhaps we notice our hearts most acutely when they are pierced. They grow larger in our awareness then, and still larger when they seem to crack in two. And if we manage our crisis well, our hearts remain that larger size forevermore...and better able to touch the stars in the heavens. And they grow even larger and more star~touched still with next heartache and heartbreak...and so on.

I don't intend to minimize pain or glorify a process that can be excruciating. Anguish is simply a part of life, so it seems best that we learn to work with it skillfully and find~~or even create~~redeeming value from it.

And I promise you, I did not tamper with the image sizes. It's just the way blogspot created the emojis.

Happy Autumn...and much 💖 ! 

The Autumnal Equinox

The Autumnal Equinox occurs tonight, technically at 1:50 a.m. MT on Monday, September 23rd. What this means astronomically is that, as seen from the Celestial Equator, the Earth is tipped neither forward nor backward in relation to the Sun, but rests for a brief moment exactly perpendicular to it and fully receiving the Sun's rays.

Metaphorically, this is an encouragement to come to balance ourselves. As the Equinox models equilibrium, a time in which Yin and Yang are in perfect balance, we can also practice tipping neither forward nor backward, resting instead in a dynamic stillness.

And so to this end, here's a very simple 15 minute meditation on the Autumnal Equinox, a meditation that plays with this balance of energies in a way that may assist you in coming to a deeper stillness. Unfortunately, you'll notice some rough spots in the recording, given the inconsistent internet signal in our little town. What a perfect opportunity to practice living in dynamic balance between perfection and imperfection! I hope it won't be too distracting for you, and that it might give you a chuckle instead.

To listen, just click right here~~

Autumnal Equinox Meditation (To save space on my section of the Zoom cloud, this link is no longer available there. If you'd still like to hear it, just send me an email, and I'll send you the file. Thanks!)

The meditation is recorded on the easily downloadable, totally private and free Zoom platform. If you've never used Zoom before, the link above will take you where you need to go.

And while I have you here, even though we're only now at the Fall Equinox, the Winter Solstice is just around the corner. C'mon, you know it's true! So I've included below the flyer for Resting in the Womb of Winter, A Winter Solstice Women's Retreat. You can also check out the details on my website, by clicking on the photo of that beautiful autumn tree above. If the Retreat appeals to you, please contact me with any questions or to register.

May all the gifts of the season be yours, my lovelies!

💖

Leia

Here's that flyer~~

Breathing Summer Into Autumn

Again we turn. The sun rises later, sets earlier, and its arc across the sky has slipped southward. The day’s heat continues to sizzle, but morning’s coolness begs now for long sleeves. Though summer’s lushness surrounds us still, things have shifted from riotous growth to harvest. Yes, autumn is on our doorstep.

My, but it's been a wild ride! Busy, dynamic, intense. Which makes this the perfect time to pause and come to center once again. Let’s do so now. 

Wherever you are and whatever’s going on around you, find a comfortable position as your attention settles on your breath. As you inhale, feel the air entering your lungs through nose or mouth. And on the exhalation, notice the sensation of the breath leaving your body. Note the gentle rise and fall of chest or belly as the breath comes and as it goes. Simply notice your experience as you follow this cycle of respiration for a few rounds.

Let's focus solely on the out~breath for a bit, trusting the inhalation to take care of itself for now. Observe the sensation of release with each exhale. Notice, too, how this release seems the easiest thing in all the world to do. As the air exits your body, carrying with it carbon dioxide collected from various cells and tissues, let it also take with it some of the tension you may have been carrying in shoulders, torso, arms or legs. 

Don't work hard at this. Simply allow a release, whether it be slight or significant. And in so doing, let yourself drop more deeply into stillness. As you continue to note that letting~go quality of the exhale, you may find it possible to release, too, preoccupations and worries, ones that may be rising up now even as you quiet. Breathe them out with every exhale. Open to your body’s innate wisdom, as it teaches the fine art of letting go.

Turn your attention now to the inhale. As your lungs fill, relish the gift of oxygen as it circulates throughout your body, enlivening and enriching every cell. You might want to open to a quality you’d like to embody more fully. It could be anything~~peace, love, acceptance, or the sense of being held and supported by something larger than yourself. 
Whatever it is, imagine that attribute infusing the air of your next inhale. Be playful as you welcome that quality deep into your core. Continue in this way for several in~breaths.

Expand your awareness again to encompass the full respiration cycle. Breathe in vitality. Breathe out what does not serve you in this moment. Breathe in that which is wholesome and life~affirming. Breath out and surrender. Welcome on the inhale. Release on the exhale. 

It's easy to lose ourselves in the hubbub of life. Yet the breath offers us a way back home, even as it calms and soothes. How cool is that?!! 

So, we breathe in as summer winds down. We breathe out as summer winds down. We breathe in as autumn draws near. We breathe out as autumn draws near. And may it be a happy turning of the seasons to you and yours!

💖

Leia

Sitting With The Beloved

Only somewhat jokingly, our dear friend says of her equally dear husband “Dan can turn any hobby into a job.” Many of us might identify. Our culture promotes a certain doggedness, even regarding play. And certainly our spiritual life is no exception.

            

Spiritual practices are often steeped in shoulds. Rules and expectations abound, with the bar held quite high in terms of achievement. We don’t only want to pray or meditate. We want to be free of everyday preoccupations when we do so, and live perfectly the insights received when we return to the world.

            

Of course, judgment follows swiftly on the heels of such an approach. Too often we feel we’re falling short, failing in our intention. So we try harder, and fall short again and again. 

            

Spiritual practices based on such goals are problematic, in that they arise from ego, the very element such practices are designed to soften and heal. When, for example, we’re attached to the idea of being a competent meditator or a respectable practitioner of any faith, we are hooked on striving, a condition that can, in itself, prevent theletting go we seek.

            

Plus it makes the whole thing rather a drag, ya know? Joy decreases to the extent that spiritual endeavors become a chore. We may still toil away, but the fun is gone. And when burden outweighs delight, we are less likely to show up wholeheartedly. We then encounter fewer moments of transcendence, and criticize our best efforts. And so, the loop continues.

A helpful teaching in this regard comes to us from the Sufi tradition. Ishq allah ma'bud allah has been translated as "God is love, lover and beloved". Christian thought arrives at a similar understanding, most notably in St. Augustine's writings on the Trinity.

And oh, how practice shifts when seen as an opportunity to meet the Beloved! And in seeing ourselves as God's beloved in return, we can more easily accept ourselves simply as we are, wandering minds, foibles and all.

This is not to imply that there is no need for commitment in spiritual life. Of course there is. We will, though, approach practice sessions more lightly and with greater joy when viewed as a meeting with the Beloved. 

            

We’re on this planet to have an Earthly experience, and that entails having incessantly busy minds and lives that call us back to them when we try to be still or to open to something larger than ourselves. There’s no shame in that. It is simply our nature to access a larger awareness imperfectly and only for fleeting moments. Ah, but what a gift those moments are!

            

Our friend Dan has always lived primarily and strongly out of love. Of late, though, he has taken the raw material of his life to grow love even more deeply. May we each do the same, one imperfectly perfect moment at a time. 

💖

Leia

                                                                                                                                                

This Love

My husband is wiping tears from his eyes as I walk in. Having just finished an obviously moving essay by Loren Eiseley, he asks if he can read it aloud to me. Of course I say yes.

Eiseley is a naturalist who brilliantly filters scientific truths through a poet’s soul. The essay my husband reads is The Bird and The Machine. In it, Eiseley describes his choice decades ago to free a sparrow hawk he’d captured the night before, and the “unutterable and ecstatic joy” of its mate as they reunify in “a great soaring gyre” in the sky far above. 

Love comes in many forms, does it not? Mystics tell us that love is at the center of it all. According to Rumi, "All the particles of the world are in love and looking for lovers (while)...every part of the cosmos draws toward its mate." Jesuit philospher, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin writes that love is "the most mysterious of the cosmic forces (and)...the physical structure of the universe." And the poet Evelyn Anglim reminds us that this love, "already exists in full measure, everywhere, all the time. It cannot be cultivated...It's already there and as big as it can get."

All the world's religions, each in the language of its culture and time, impart the same truth. So why, then, do we struggle so? Rumi urges us not to spend too much time on such questions. "Don't open the door to the study...Take down a musical instrument. Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground."

And so, we kneel and kiss the ground in whatever way is our spirit's longing. For me this morning, it is in receiving the exquisite beauty of my husband's soul as he makes his tearful way through Eiseley's sweet words. In meditation last night, it was by opening to love as my mind stilled. And last week, awe filled me as ten delightful women met for a Summer Solstice Retreat and wove of their unique individual strands a thing of exceptional beauty.

Regarding this omnipresent love Anglim writes, "Our work is to remove the blocks to our recognizing and living it, living out of it." What a gift it is that such love is right here, right now. For if it is everywhere, then it is in this very moment, reaching for us even as we reach for it. Loving us even as we love. "What you seek," Rumi tells us, "is seeking you."

Eiseley ends his essay lauding the splendor of living beings who “bleed, ache, hang for hours in the empty sky in a torment of hope (and)…cry out with joy (or) dance in the air with the fierce passion” of reunion.

It is my delight and my pleasure to be a living being sharing the planet with you and others, as we dance through the mystery of it all, never fully understanding, but tumbling into love just the same. 

Love!

Leia

Several extras for you today. Enjoy!

Here is a link to Eisley’s essay, though my husband began his excerpt on page 604 with the line "We came into that valley through the trailing mists of a spring night"…The Bird and The Machine

And here is a link to one of the Rumi poems excerpted above, which has depth that will elicit a pondering worthy of the subject…Desire and the Importance of Failing

And this is the full text of Evelyn’s poem, from her book Whispered Secrets

The Love I Speak Of

The love I speak of

already exists in full measure,

everywhere, all the time.

It cannot be cultivated.

Not in me.

Not in you.

Not in anyone.

It's already there and

as big as it can get.

Our work is to remove

the blocks to our recognizing

and living in it,

living out of it,

living it.

And the essence of all

those blockages is fear.

All fear is illusory,

though in our human experience

it feels so real.

"Nothing real can be threatened.

Nothing unreal exists."

~~from A Course in Miracles

Illness as Spiritual Practice

We’ve all been sick many times over the course of our lives. We hibernate for a few days, take some natural or prescription medication, moan and groan as fits our temperament…and then we recover and move on. 

But what of those whose illnesses are persistent and of a greater magnitude? Perhaps an injury or autoimmune disorder brings ongoing pain and a significant loss of function. Maybe the struggle is with addiction, either to substances or behaviors that erode a sense of worth and make a mess of one’s life. Or perhaps it is depression, anxiety or complex PTSD that makes each day a challenge. These are conditions for which there are no simple cures, no straight line to health. For those whose lives are afflicted by serious disease of any kind, something more is asked.

Illness as spiritual practice seldom gets its due. When bodies hurt no matter our position, when hearts race as a panic attack comes on, or when inner voices tell us that stress requires a drink, we have approached the realm of the Divine. In living daily with the indisputable truth that our small wills cannot bring release, we are given a chance to learn surrender. 

Spiritual surrender is not a passive or masochistic thing. It is not a giving up. It is a waking up to something far greater than the wishes and goals of our personalities. Through acceptance of what is, rather than what we would like it to be, we learn to yield. Done consciously and with intention, this is a stance that leads to a greater awareness, one that allows us to open to guidance in order to discern in each moment the next right action.

Some of us have the luxury of attending to our spirituality only on Sundays, during prescribed meditation periods, or when we walk amid the natural world. Not so for those who approach chronic illness as spiritual practice. 

This is not intended to romanticize suffering. It is not something we would wish upon ourselves or someone else. Yet individuals who walk the path of serious illness often speak of the gifts received from what they would never have chosen. 

We all live better when we cultivate a vibrant spirituality, one that makes each moment precious. But those grappling with chronic illness are called to surrender in moments that don’t feel precious at all. And often they reap the benefits of a profound and enduring spiritual healing, one that allows them to cherish life more deeply than the rest of us, no matter the course their illness takes.

May the healthy among us hold in our hearts our sisters and brothers who struggle so. And, dear reader, if you are ailing, may you open to that love. And may it assist you as you embrace your illness as a pathway to transformation. 

💖

Leia

The Art Of Becoming

Imagine Robin Williams on a stage, empty but for a stool. He asks the audience for three objects. An orange, a scarf, and a pen are passed forward. For an opening line, someone calls out, “I can’t believe this is happening!” And Robin is off and running. The orange becomes a baby owl, the scarf a towel, the pen a cigarette as Robin transforms into a chain-smoking, Brooklyn matron, surprised while climbing into her bath. The audience howls.

            

Now say goodbye to dear Robin for a moment, and drop into my life last week. I’m in the middle of three online projects: belatedly learning to use social media, a discussion about republishing the soulful poetry of Evelyn Anglim, and finalizing plans to facilitate a summer solstice women’s retreat in June. 

And my internet goes down…and remains so for three long days. 

It was my very own Evening At The Improv. The elements given me were time pressure, lousy customer service from my internet provider, a get~it~done~now personality, and a host of alternate activities that would delight in my attention. Here was an opportunity to create, and it was mine to decide what it would be. Would I let my energy swirl into positive channels, or would I offer more angst and kvetching to a world already overflowing with both?

            

It’s always like that. Outer circumstances interact with temperament, talent, desire and need. Comedy may not be our goal, but creating something true and life~affirming ought to be. How can we best do that? By coming deeply and repeatedly to the still point at the center of it all. Regularly opening to that which endures provides the perspective and clarity from which good things are most likely to flow. 

            

Life can be difficult, brutal even. On some days, keeping our head above water may be the best we can do. But as we are able, we can consciously and creatively choose what we give out. In each moment, we create ripples, ones that affect and are affected by the ripples of others. It’s one big wave pool. Or a Lifetime at the Improv.

            

Our conditions are individual~~health, career, family and relationship challenges. And they are universal~~creating a life of meaning. Whatever the particulars, they are the raw material given us. And just like Robin, it is ours to shape those components, to work with them in such a way that when the moment comes to exit the stage, we feel good about our time upon it. 

            

So here’s to creative and uplifting responses. And perhaps with Robin in mind, we could also laugh along the way, and be gentle with ourselves when we fall flat on our face. After all, it’s the nature of the art, the art of becoming all we can be.

💖💖💖

Leia

            

Zhi Yin

Several of us gather around the table for a third night, each a person with whom I have a unique connection. Our focus is on things that matter, things seen and understood with the rational mind…and those that are not. As three of these women live far away, we’ve also had individual sit~downs: two breakfasts and an hour~long talk over steaming mugs of tea.

And all of this after facilitating a weekend Retreat for nine women, and having meaningful ongoing contact with clients and dear friends, near and far. Quite a month for an introvert with some rather pronounced hermit~like tendencies! And it has been a scrumptious multi~course meal for the soul. 

So as I was finishing my current fantasy trilogy, The Infernal Devicesby Cassandra Clare, the following words glowed golden and danced before my eyes. “Our hearts, they need a mirror,” Jem Carstairs says to Tessa. “We see our better selves in the eyes of those who love us.”

We humans are social creatures, even the shyest, most reticent of us. It is said that we come into this world primed for social engagement, knowing we cannot survive on our own. Jem’s words, however, speak of something more than simple survival needs or a general sense of well~being necessary for optimal health and functioning.

In soulcraft, that venerable art of becoming all we can be, we need others to reflect back to us, not only an accurate image of who we are now, but of who we could become…or perhaps who we might already be in our core.

This human life can be as difficult as it is glorious, with a particular stretch of choppy water often blinding us to the beauty of the sea itself. At such times, we fear sinking beneath the waves, and may believe ourselves beyond redemption as we accept as true the false conclusions we draw about ourselves from the events swirling around us.

It is in these moments that we are most in need of Grace. And though Grace may surround us always, we humans can often best perceive it, as Ringo sung so many years ago, with a little help from our friends.

In The Dark Artifices, another trilogy by the same author, Jem reappears many fictional years later and shares more wisdom through a term from his native Mandarin, zhi yin, which refers to “one who understands your music”. Sure enough, internet research confirms that zhi means “to know” while yin means “sound born from the heart”. We all need those who can relish the music of our hearts, especially when we can’t quite hear that music ourselves.

May you choose those who hear and cherish your heart’s sweet song. And may that gift embolden you to sing that melody with your whole being, heart and soul combined and in perfect harmony, radiant and true.

Sing on, dear ones! Much love,

Leia

An addendum...I’ve shared before that I adore fantasy fiction, also termed Young Adult literature. Many have strong female characters living in worlds intriguingly different from our own. While the books noted above are not my all~time favorites, they might grow on you, as they did me, if you allow them time to mature a bit, with the characters moving past an initial adolescent feel. I think Clare’s Mortal Instrument series is her best. But checkout the Laini Taylor's Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy for a blue~haired beauty of a heroine who'll knock your socks off, and angels and demons galore.

Spring Forward!

Nothing stands still. The Earth spins on its axis each day, and though we can’t feel the movement, we see the effects as morning becomes noon, as the sun moves into the west, as darkness descends once again. 

The Earth also travels around the sun, and though that dance takes longer, it shows itself in seasonal change. The Vernal Equinox arrives this Wednesday, March 20^th, but already we see the effects. The sun reaches higher in the sky. Daylight increases. Birds raise a holy racket at dawn. Fawns, calves and little pronghorn cavort in the fields. 

All of this reminds us that it is time for us, too, to move into the next stage of our own lives. Unformed though that phase may be, we can begin to feel our way into it, right here, right now…

As you read these words, become aware of your breath. This simple act of breathing with awareness, in and out, often drops us into the place of stillness that is always there, even when we forget. 

Begin to catch up with yourself after a week that might have been busy or delightful or challenging. Without judgment or analysis, simply recognize the truth of these last few days. 

Now expand your awareness to include the last several months, linking those in turn to the years that came before. Come into a felt sense of your life as a whole, and all that has brought you to this moment in time. 

Become aware now of what might be wanting to burst through the rich soil of your being this Spring. It might be an attitude you’d like to cultivate, to become more loving, for example, or to open more fully to the voice of Spirit in your life.  

Or perhaps there’s something very specific your heart longs to express in the world, or a new direction that’s calling you. Or maybe it’s merely a deepening of all that already is. 

You know these things cannot be forced, so if nothing comes to you now, trust that, since spring is the time of new growth, something will likely emerge over the next few days or weeks, particularly as you remain attentive. 

Yet, with the impulse to grow, there is often an urge to hold back as well. No surprise, in this Yin-Yang existence we’re embedded within. For now, simply note what might inhibit the forward movement Spring encourages, and open to guidance on how best to greet both the urge to create something new, and its friend, the desire to remain secure with what is known. Take a few more moments, opening to whatever might come. 

Become aware once again of your breath. And following your breath for a few more rounds~~inhale naturally giving way to exhale, exhale opening into inhale~~perhaps you'll notice a continued connection to that stillness that is always there, even amid the busyness of life.  

We are not separate from the Earth, but part of it and responsive to its rhythms. When we sync our inner process with that outer one, we receive aid in our task of becoming all that we can be. 

I wish you wonderful things as you grow further into the fullness of your being. May it be a joyous Spring.

Leia

Desert Hymn

I sit on my cushion, which itself sits upon the sands of the Sonoran desert. As the sun has yet to clear the hills, the air is still quite cool. Swaddled in layers, though, I am comfortable. Saguaro and palo verde trees are silhouetted against a dawn blue sky. The subtle smells of the desert and a joyous racket of birdsong arrive on air that is a caress. I settle into this place, its outer spaciousness opening me to an inner one. 

Suddenly, a commotion to my right pulls my attention. I open my eyes to two birds on the ground, scuttling about in a flurry of feathers and sand. I am captivated...until they fly off to the next event of their birdy day. I close my eyes again. As my awareness begins to expand once more, I recognize the message here: to let the world call us to itself, to respond as situation and temperament inspire, and then to come back to open awareness. 

Fast forward a couple of weeks. I have gone to the bathhouse in the night. A desert rain is on its way and the trees thrum with joy, leaves dancing in a breeze both gentle and insistent. The sky overflows with stars, and I know this is all too lovely to miss by crawling back into bed. 

I stand for long minutes, silently absorbing this desert mosaic. And then a song, spontaneous and with notes unplanned, moves through my lips and out into the night, my hymn to the desert. And somewhere inside I know that this is how it always is, each of us offering our song to the world. 

Fast forward again to last night, sitting outdoors on my cushion before bed. All is silent…until a series of barks, yips and high pitched howls fills the night, a group of desert coyotes offering their own song to the world.  

Throughout this magical time in the desert, my life unfolds as usual. I meet by phone or video with clients who continue to inspire me, and I plan a Spring Equinox Women’s Retreat. I love my husband, and feel immense gratitude for this steadfast and open~hearted partner. And I engage in all the other activities of a human life, better learning in the process to weave spirit through them all. 

Retreats are a time out of time. Their gifts are given moment to moment, and they remain forever. Of course, we will forget the particular insights, the sudden understanding of larger patterns that makes things fall into place. But forgetting is not the same as not knowing. We can never unknow what has been learned. With a welcoming attitude and sufficient space, those gifts will bubble up once more, just when they are needed the most. 

So let us remember what we know, this day and always. And may we each sing out our own unique hymn to a world that longs for our voice, clear and sweet and true. Amin.

Leia 

Breaking Open...Again!

The following dream visited me a few weeks back… 

An elderly white woman, well~coiffed and impeccably dressed, is forced by some unknown event to forsake her usual mode of transportation and take the subway. She sits across from a middle-aged Latino man, rather disheveled in well-worn and unwashed workingman’s clothing. His face, neck and hands are covered with open sores. 

Assuming these lesions stem from illicit behavior, disapproval pinches her features as her eyes bore into him. Finally, unable to remain silent any longer, she asks, “How CAN you go out in public looking like that?!!” 

The man answers in ragged phrases that clearly cost energy he does not have, sharing that he has advanced cancer and that his sores come from the treatment he is undergoing. He further explains that he works two hourly jobs, neither of which offers sick leave. He takes off without pay for the worst of the side effects, but must ‘go out in public’ as soon as possible in order to support his family. 

The woman is shaken by his story. The man, who has been hunched and looking down, suddenly transforms. A new presence fills him. His back straightens, his head raises, and he turns to look directly into the woman’s eyes. His voice rings out clear and strong now as he exclaims, “May your heart break open!”

And I awoke. What a richly textured dream! Here are some of its layers…

A woman is drawn, by forces outside her control, to go deep beneath the comfortable surface of the world she usually inhabits. In that aboveground world, she is wealthy. Here, she confronts the impoverishment of her spirit.

She is shown another’s wounds, and learns that they come, not from misbehavior on his part or even from illness, but from the antidote for what ails him. She is then instructed to allow another’s oozing sores to crack open a heart grown rigid. Thus she is led to a vital truth: our reactions to our companions on this Earth-walk offer opportunities to discover~~and to heal~~wounds of our own.

While this dream heralds a time of breaking open in my own life, I share it here because its message is universal. This magnificent, chaotic and painful world of ours, in which we repeatedly bump up against one another in all our unperfected beauty, is the treatment for the wounds we carry. Or it can be, if we let it.

We are each being called to look at what has grown rigid in our psyches, that which causes us to be less kind than we might or creates a harshness of spirit  that make it hard to be gracious with the wounds of others…or with our own.

So let us heed that call. May our hearts break open. And may they do so again…and again…and always yet again. 

Blessings on your own breaking~open times,

💖

Leia

And here's a link to some activities that might appeal to the women out there...

http://www.in-awe.net/Special_Events.html