Steppingstones

Surrender. Wisdom traditions throughout time and across cultures have encouraged it as a spiritual practice. And humans throughout time and across cultures have found that practice challenging.

The word itself comes from the Old French surrendre. The prefix sur- means “over” while rendre means “to deliver or yield”. So in its reflexive sense, surrender means “to deliver or yield oneself over to”. 

No wonder it’s hard for us. We want to influence our world, to avoid distress while creating a satisfying, meaningful and enjoyable experience of living. Yet life continually teaches us that much lies outside our control. Yes, we can have a significant effect and no, we don’t run this show.

            

With these dual realities, it’s tricky to know when to act and when to allow. One thing many of us invariably learn, though, is that we can act much more effectively and with greater love when we first surrender to what is. We don’t have to like it, but unexamined resistance is apt to lead to acting out without thought, without wisdom, and without compassion. And that will likely make things worse, rather than better.

            

Meditation teacher Sally Kempton writes that surrender is not giving up or giving in. It might, in fact, require us to enter the fray as “a surrendered activist”, doing our best while letting go of attachment to the outcome. “Surrender,” Kempton tells us, “is a way of unclenching your psychic and physical muscles”, thus allowing us to move forward in a fresh way.

            

Unclenching, opening to Grace, relinquishing attempts to force a particular outcome, and turning an issue over to God or the Mystery or Life itself, are all steppingstones to surrender.

            

I often place a phrase or a single word at my meditation area as a reminder of qualities or perspectives I wish to nurture. Several months back, I wrote on lavender paper with a rose marker the word Surrender, and placed it there. Several weeks later, upon seeing this reminder yet another time, I suddenly noticed the letters I actually wrote were 

S-u-r-r-e-d-e-r. 

Yep, I left out the “n”, a misspelling that likely speaks to my personal challenge with the issue. I admit I am not great at surrender, but I am its student. Whether running late in the morning, engaged in a conflict, or hearing the news of the day, I am learning to pause, to accept what is, and only then choose a possible next step.

            

I’ve also been working with the etymology of another word. Relax comes from the Latin relaxare. The prefix re- means “back” and laxare means “make loose”. We could say then that relax means “a return to looseness”.

            

So I practice becoming loose again whenever I clench my psychic or physical muscles. And I practice yielding myself over to. Another way to put it is that I actively practice putting the ‘n’ back in surrender, where it belongs. 

Surrenderingly yours,

Leia

And here's a link to Sally's article, an oldie but a goody, from the Yoga Journal~~ https://www.yogajournal.com/yoga-101/get-carried-away

And here's a link to my friend Val's blog about welcoming whatever comes, which is another steppingstone to surrender. She also includes an audio guided meditation~~
https://myspiritualmusings.com/a-welcoming-prayer/

And a special invitation to all you women out there...Pausing At The Balance Point, A Spring Equinox Women's Retreat will be held next month at Pueblo Mountain Park in Beulah, CO. We'd love to have you join us! You can find all the details at the Special Events section of my website here~~
http://www.in-awe.net/Special_Events_%26_More.html