Shamans, Shamans Everywhere!

As a psychotherapist~~and human being myself~~I’ve grown familiar with our tendency toward anxiety and other fast tracks to suffering. Like scratching an itch until it bleeds, we seem particularly skilled at grabbing on to unhelpful attitudes or behaviors and not letting go.

A classic antidote to this tendency is the safe place relaxation exercise. Let’s do it now.

Envision yourself in a place of beauty and peace. It can be any soothing spot~~a beach, alongside a mountain stream, amid wildflowers in a field that stretches forever. Allow yourself to enter this place fully, filling in as many sensory details as possible. Tune in to the visuals, sounds, smells, a myriad of tactile sensations. Close your eyes for a few moments now, and fully immerse yourself. Marinate in the particulars of this space.

If you were able to fully enter this experience, you most likely found a palpable calm. Not such a surprise, since we all know, for example, the agitation that arises from recalling upsetting events. In this exercise, we merely choose to direct our attention for the purpose of relieving unease and imbibing that which is good and wholesome.

            

Consciousness is amazingly pliable~~and powerful. It shrinks or expands to fit any vessel we choose. We can also leave all containers behind, letting go into what a dear friend calls “an expanse of light, luminous ocean.” Let’s try that now and let's begin by returning to the imagined scene above.

Let yourself move into this place, experiencing it from inside. See the slant of light and the colors it gives rise to. Know the smells and sounds, feel the sensations on your skin. Yet more than any of these things, note that sense of peace and calm awareness. Now let all the particulars fade, floating in a space beyond it all. Consciousness without boxes, awareness without borders.

Of course, it's not necessary to enter this state through any imagined place. That light and luminous ocean is always present, thrumming beneath and within every moment of our lives. Most of us haven’t yet learned to live in such openness always, doing the dishes and communicating with others while steeped in pure Awareness. That’s why specific practice periods are so helpful, as are reminders to awaken at various moments throughout the day. As with any underdeveloped muscle, repetition is key to strengthening this capacity.

            

In my meditation area, I have a sketch of a shaman sitting alone in a desert, surrounded by the tools of her trade~~rattles, drums, earthen bowls filled with colored sand, images of spirit guides and mandalas. This is a person skilled in attending to what’s appropriate in each situation, someone adept at freeing herself from life’s upheavals long enough to intuit the most helpful next step. She likely submerges herself often in that vast ocean of Consciousness, light and luminous, and returns knowing the best medicine for what ails.

            

We are all shamans of our own lives, apprentices to that larger Awareness. We are learning to travel to places of our choosing, and to employ and develop our own unique tools. And as we become more proficient in weaving that larger Consciousness throughout our small lives, we continue to do our part in growing light and luminous Awareness here on Earth.

            

Apprentices all. May we learn our craft well.

And as spring returns once more, may the gardens of your lives set forth new and bounteous growth!

Loanne Marie

   

Worry, Part IV

There’s an old truism that says we’re not given challenges without the tools to meet them. I certainly think that most of us most of the time have effective tools at our disposal. But just like the condom left in the drawer, the best techniques are only good when used.

Although I’ll give some specific suggestions for developing those tools, I suspect you already know what’s needed. If you carried out the anxiety assessment suggested in Part III of this series, however cursorily, you’ve likely become aware of things that need to be handled differently; you also may well have received impressions of how to go about making those needed changes. 

So with the caveat that you likely already know what you need to do, I offer the following. I’ve somewhat arbitrarily divided these suggestions into physical, psychological, and spiritual interventions, although there is, of course, much overlap.

Physical: There’s just no substitute for a healthy body. A body that has been treated lovingly will be better able to manage stress with less depletion. The following are particularly helpful in regards to anxiety:

• Aerobic exercise is one of the most effective ways to discharge the adrenaline build-up of modern life. You don’t need to run marathons; any sustained activity~~such as brisk walking~~which keeps your heart rate in working range will do.  Exercise restores the innate stress-relieving mechanism our bodies are designed to use.
  
• Alternatively, you can pursue activities that promote a peaceful disposition~~yoga, gardening, knitting, deep breathing, specific relaxation techniques. Any calming activity, done with presence and intention, will calm the body, and likely the rest of you will follow.
  
• Avoid or limit your use of caffeine, sugar, and other stimulants. Ya can’t blame a revved up body that’s being fed a diet designed for revving! Even substances designed to calm often lead to a rebounding anxiety.
  
• Eat well and choose wholesome foods; get plenty of rest.

Psychological: Two people can have totally different responses to the same event. This underscores the fact that our experience of life is quite subjective. If you want a different experience, you could begin by altering your outlook in the following ways:

• Become aware of the running commentary you give to your life and commit to making your story line a positive, nurturing one. When a child under your care is frightened, you wouldn’t amplify their uneasiness through suggesting even worse outcomes than they’d already imagined. Yet this is precisely what we often do to ourselves. Let your self-talk be as you would speak to a nervous youngster~~soothing and reassuring.
  
• Perhaps your anxiety is suggesting that your life is out of balance in some way. Are you engaging in harmful relationships, spreading yourself too thinly, not allowing needed time for self-care, attending to everything and everyone else before yourself? Decide on a change you’re ready to make in one area, beginning in some small way.
  
• Since worry is at heart a creative act, choosing another creative expression might do wonders. If you have known artistic outlets, use them. If you haven’t discovered one yet, commit to finding it. It would be helpful to leave aside your assumptions about what counts as creativity. Creativity is your birthright~~it comes with being a human being~~and you can be creative in any number of ways.  Don't let worry be your main one!
• Listen to what your anxiety might be communicating about the issues that underlie it. You know, life will always give us excuses to be anxious, but often our anxiety exists independently and we simply glom onto some external difficulty to justify it. Perhaps it’s time to heal issues stemming from a childhood that taught you to be on edge, an emotional wound that is using anxiety to get your attention, or a perfectionistic, pessimistic, or over-functioning style that needs to be softened. Journaling and talking with loved ones may be all that’s needed. There are some wounds, though, that reach deeper and require additional help for safe and complete resolution; don’t hesitate to give yourself this gift through self-help books, support groups, or formal psychotherapy.

Spiritual: I believe worry is essentially a spiritual issue. Therefore, spiritual responses will likely be needed to ease it. You may want to:

• Develop or strengthen your spiritual practice. Experiment with new approaches. Do some research on-line, at your favorite bookstore, or through classes. Meditation and prayer have long been known to ease tension and change an anxious approach to life.
  
• Review the list of negative spiritual beliefs detailed in Part II of this series. Develop a few affirmations that embody the positive beliefs you would most like to adopt; commit to consciously employing them frequently throughout your day. Stop worry as it occurs, replacing it with a life-affirming statement.
  
• Practice offering up your anxiety, as I related in Part I of this series, and choose to fill the space thus vacated with Spirit.
  
• Review the Sacred Space technique discussed in an earlier essay (Creating Sacred Space Internally), and develop your own internal refuge. Go there frequently.

As I said, these are simply suggestions to add to those you’re already called to pursue. Although anxiety causes various degrees of difficulty for us all, I believe ultimately it is a friend, come to tell help us clear a space that will deepen and enrich our experience of living.

May you find the friend embedded within your own anxiety and begin today the process of healing.

Blessings!

Loanne Marie

PS. I’ll be taking the next week off for vacation, so I won’t be posting again until the end of June. See ya then!

Worry, Part III

In Part I and II of this series, I shared some thoughts on anxiety. I promised that this week I’d explore what can be done about this very human inclination which so effectively saps our energy reserves. But before moving on to solutions, I realized it would be helpful to look at the particulars of your unique brand of anxiety. So, this week’s blog will focus on how stress manifests in your life.

To this end, I suggest taking several days to simply observe your anxiety. During this assessment phase, don’t work toward making any specific changes. Simply notice. Allow yourself all your usual responses and watch how they each play out. Discern the behaviors you use to discharge or ease your agitation, as well as their effectiveness. Ask for feedback from others who know you well. It may be helpful to keep a mood journal, tracking each day’s observations.

Some particulars to note are:

• Physical cues. Be aware of the ways in which your body reacts. Does stress appear in the form of muscle tension, knots in your stomach, jumpy legs, hand twitching? Is your breathing shallow, quick, incomplete?
  
• Behavioral responses. Notice what behaviors you engage in. Do you fiddle with clothing or other objects when anxious? Do you talk more or withdraw? Do you become easily irritated and discharge your anxiety through anger? Do you eat more or less, use mood altering substances, zone out in front of the TV? Do these responses actually ease tension overall?
  
• Speech. Listen for evidence of an agitated or obsessive approach within the words you choose . Do you find yourself frequently beginning sentences with words such as, ‘I worry that...’? Do you find yourself often quoting Murphy’s Law and demonstrating in your speech that you expect problems to occur? Do you let loose with an expletive when you spill or drop something, or when things are not going as you think they ought?
  
• Mental Focus. Watch your thoughts. Do you play out specific scenarios, rehearsing future trials or replaying previous ones? Are you hyperaware of potential difficulties? Is energy wasted figuring out solutions for problems that have yet to occur--and likely won’t? Do you listen well to others and give your full attention to your activities, or is your mind repeatedly pulled back to upset?
  
• Psychological and spiritual perspectives. Become conscious of how a likely unconscious outlook colors your experience. What are your expectations of life, of this day before you? Do you have an approach that makes living more of a project or chore than an unfolding process? How much do you secretly believe that nothing can be done to decrease your stress level or improve your experience of life? Do you view life as a bitch or a beach? Review the psychological and spiritual components of anxiety detailed in Worry, Part II, and see which ones apply to you.
  
• Situational factors. Notice how you are affected by external realities. Are there certain situations in which you tighten up? Certain people who bring out this response? Is your anxiety affected by being hungry, rushed, tired, or overworked?
  
• External demands: Size up the realities of your stress. How urgent are the current claims on your energy? Are these real and unavoidable? Would someone looking in on your life from the outside agree that these demands cannot be minimized or managed a bit more effectively?
  
• Scheduling: Observe your use of time. How much of each day is spent in soothing activities? Do you make specific choices to care for yourself, or does self-care come only after everything on your to-do list is finished (that is, never!)? Do you unconsciously follow the desires of those around you in this way, adopting a passive approach to your own life?

With clarity on how anxiety makes its presence known and your response to it, we’ll be able to move into problem-solving mode next week. Until then, watch your anxiety and your responses to it.

Blessings!

Loanne Marie

Worry, Part II

We each have areas of our lives that are challenging. This is as it should be, since such nudges propel us toward growth. However, when the hurdles are uncomfortably high or frequent, when we lack (or forget to use!) an effective self-soothing mechanism, or when we’ve developed habits that actually promote uneasiness, those nudges feel more like hammers. As stress invades, worry grows.

Just as in Worry, Part I, when I speak of it here, I mean more than the specific thoughts we’re likely to spin when overwhelmed. I am referring to the whole constellation of physical, psychological and spiritual predispositions that feed~~and, in turn, are fed by~~our fretting.

A stressed human being is most often someone whose body is inaccurately perceiving signals of danger. While our bodies are amazing creations, in this way they remain somewhat primitive. When we’re agitated because we might be late for work, for example, our bodies just can’t relate. In their world, a megaphone is booming “DANGER! DANGER!” They’re thinking ‘saber-toothed tiger’, ‘lava flow’, ‘marauding band of evildoers’. They have no category for ‘keeping folks waiting’ or ‘irritated boss’.

Thus, adrenaline is released, and suddenly we’re all dressed up with no place to go. Our bodies are revved, ready to fight or run for cover. At the very least, we’re on heightened alert status. We respond instinctively by scanning the environment, searching for danger in order to reduce it. And if there’s no overt peril out there, do we abort the mission? Not usually. We keep right on scanning, continually searching for something to fix. This is the essence of worry.

However, this capacity doesn’t arise from our physical makeup alone. We are imaginative beings. Creating is what we do.* However, while humans produce loving interactions, acts of valor, and works of beauty, we also fashion much that is unhelpful and counter to the life we yearn to live. Worry is an example of this tendency. In fact, as a primary drain of creative energy, it may be responsible for preventing the creation all manner of amazing things.

In terms of our personal psychology, anxiety encourages us to look within. Perhaps there are important issues underlying our stewing, and it's time to do a little problem-solving.  Is our life out of balance in some way? Do we have a pessimistic bent to our personality, with a tendency to assume the worst? How about a need for control? If we return for a moment to the example of being late for work, do we have an excessive fear of displeasing someone? If we’re running late due to our own behaviors, is there a self-sabotaging style that needs attention~~a disregard of detail, a pattern of spreading ourselves too thinly or attempting to do too much, a need to get up or go to bed earlier? Or does a predisposition toward anxiety speak of earlier or current wounds that are crying out to finally be heard and effectively healed?

Yet worry is more complex still. I believe it is most often a manifestation~~ even an enactment~~of an underlying belief or approach that is pressing to be brought into awareness. Worry is, at its heart, a spiritual issue, and within it can be found a plethora of unconsciously held beliefs about our relationship to life itself. As such, fretting might reflect any combination of the following:

• We lack trust in Spirit. This mistrust can take a variety of forms. We may not truly believe that Spirit can offer a hand, that learning is possible~~perhaps even intended~~in each event of our lives, that we will ultimately be okay, or that good can come from something we deem bad.
  
• We perceive ourselves to be victims in a harsh and punishing Universe.
  
• We have an inflated idea of what our responsibilities are, believing that we oughta be in control and that things should play out as we see fit.
  
• We have a tendency to shirk or refuse the one thing that is ours to manage~~our own nature. We may reject, in practice, the call to live in harmony with what is and to choose the wisest, most helpful response to any situation.
  
• We believe we know what is best, despite the limitations of human vision. Referring again to the example of being late for work, we ignore the fact that being 5 minutes earlier could bring us to an intersection just as a distracted Mom misses a red light and plows into us, seriously harming us or her children. Or perhaps that our boss may need an opportunity to choose wisely how to address our tardiness. We forget that even losing our job could be in our best interests, although it might be difficult to see from our current vantage point.
  
• We forget that seeds of growth exist in any situation, and that focusing on these would be a far more productive use of our energy.
  
• We are blind to the Holy, mistaking our own limited vision and personal reactions for what is ultimately true. In the large scheme of life on this planet, and even our own small ones, we forget that whatever incident we're hooked by likely doesn’t matter all that much. We continue to shrink ourselves into a tight box at the exclusion of so much.

In a previous essay, I discussed the need to keep our channels open to the spiritual force that sustains us. Worry is an activity that effectively crimps that channel, shrinking our sustenance to a mere trickle. By devoting our precious energy to anxiety, we forgo trust, reinforce a fear-based approach to the activity of living, and close down to the richness that surrounds us.

Choosing what we give our attention to is an important aspect of conscious living. Granted, it may not always feel as if we have a choice, but we do. The first step is to become cognizant of the choices we’re making. There is simply no substitute for awareness. Once we have that, we can begin to choose differently. In next week's essay, I’ll offer some specific suggestions on how to do just that.

Some folks assert that we create our own reality. No matter how you feel about this statement, it can’t be denied that our perspective profoundly effects our experience of our reality. If you lean toward worry, you will find worrisome things to focus on, and that will become your experience, your reality.

This living alive is challenging work. Here’s to hoping we can all live with greater trust and a willingness to allow ourselves to be transformed by that small voice whispering our name.

Namaste!

Loanne Marie

*For more on how this tendency plays out when we try to quiet our minds in meditation, see Meditation Myths #1

Worry, Part I

In a recent essay, I defined meditation as the “gift of one’s complete attention to an activity.” When looked at from this viewpoint, we meditate in a variety of ways, and worry~~that all-consuming phenomenon~~is one of them.

As I’m using the term here, worry is comprised of both specific thoughts and the emotions and perspective that provide nourishment for those thoughts. Training our minds to forgo their tendency to gnaw on disturbing ideas and scenarios is necessary, but not sufficient. To make a profound change, one must go to the heart of an anxiety-provoking approach to life.

I know something about this topic, having personally wasted a fair amount of energy on anxiety. My current commitment to altering this tendency began several years ago. I’ve used the Tarot for decades, not in its predictive capacity, but for guidance in psychological and spiritual development. During the time period I’m referring to, I found myself frequently drawing the X of Wands. As anyone who has used the Tarot will tell you, when a card makes its appearance time and again, it’s a message to look at the issue embodied in the card.

The image in the traditional Waite-Ryder deck depicts a man trudging forward under the considerable weight of the 10 Wands he’s carrying. While interpretations vary somewhat, this card generally is seen as signaling a feeling of being overwhelmed.  Importantly, much of this burden is viewed as self-imposed. In addition to other suggestions, we are urged to lighten our load by becoming aware of, and changing, our perspective.

The X of Wands captures how I feel when I’m fretting--too much to carry, but with a surprising resistance to laying any of it down. And since this resistance seemed key, I knew a conscious decision to adopt a different outlook was needed.

As I worked with this card further, two additional images arose. The first was a figure, who now bore a striking resemblance to me, offering her wands to an unseen Presence. The second showed the wands suspended within a golden light and the woman sitting off to the side in meditation. These two images, drawn by my own hand, are now taped on either side of the window in my meditation space. They remind me to consciously offer my worried thoughts and feelings to Spirit, and to fill the space thus vacated with the Holy.

So, with all this as background, I found the process of writing this essay rather humorous. Time had been given to other things, and I was feeling rushed.  The writing was not going well. Without realizing it, I zipped into a worried outlook~~this as I wrote about worry! Would I finish the essay by my self-imposed deadline? Would I be able to craft my thoughts into an effective piece? Did I even have anything worthwhile to say on the subject?

The process of worry was thus delineated quite clearly. I had moved rather quickly from feeling a time pressure to doubting my worthiness. Quite the leap, eh? Worry is like that. It offers doubt a toehold and, if we don’t turn it around, zaps our spirit.

The definition of meditation I gave above was missing an all important word: conscious. Meditation is the conscious gift of one’s complete attention to an activity. A worry fest is, therefore, not truly a meditation as it is essentially an unconscious phenomenon. We unwittingly allow our attention to be consumed by anxiety, and our fear carries us off into territory that is not soul-friendly. Who would consciously choose that?! Life as it is, with its many dazzling manifestations and opportunities, passes right by--and so consumed are we by the web of our own creation that we hardly notice!

And so we need to replace our unconscious meditation with a conscious one. To that end, we need to accurately perceive what we’re giving our precious energy to and make other choices. For me, the image of offering up my anxiety works. It’s what I did~~finally~~in regards to this essay, and what came back to me was clarity about my own process, a suggestion to share that with you, and the groundwork for further exploration on this subject next week. A much better solution than a needless funk!

I wish you a worry-free week. But should you find yourself spinning your own anxious web, experiment with giving it away and filling yourself instead with Spirit.

Blessings!

Loanne Marie